We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
