I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
