How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
