Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
