So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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