Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize