She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
