I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
