I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
