More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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