Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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