Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize