So drunk, too bad you don't want this
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
