I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
