Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
