i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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