I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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