called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
