You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
