that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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