Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
