I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
