do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
