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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you guys were way drunker than both of me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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