i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
