My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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