Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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