Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have aggressive nipples.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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