I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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