my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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