I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
