The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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