It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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