can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
