gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
