More tranny stories later!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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