Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
