high people should be assigned attendants
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
