My girlfriend figured out who you are.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
