Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
