I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
