I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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