any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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