youre lurking in front of me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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