i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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