The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
