Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
