I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize