Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I will pee on everything he values.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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