puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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