normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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