she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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