You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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