And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
