wat bout pragnant strippers??
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
