YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
