I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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