My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
