She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
